Have you always been the tomboy who is chummy with the guys, but you've never really got the hang of making a guy fall in love with you? Do women around you find it easy to get into a great relationship and you have no clue how they manage that? Have you reached that stage in your life where you'd love to settle down with a great guy? This article will help simplify things a bit.
First, don't rely on what you see in the movies or in the media in general. Sex is not all there is to a relationship. If you allow yourself to fall into the pattern of sleeping with men you hardly know in the hopes of building a relationship with him, you're setting yourself up for a bunch of disappointments.
Take the high road and let him get to know the woman you really are. Look at those first few dates with him as getting to know a dear friend. You talk, exchange ideas, discuss future goals, maybe even debate about an exciting topic. Make it clear that you're interested in what he has to say and that you admire certain aspects of who he is. He will no doubt want to impress you with his accomplishments and if he senses he has, he'll leave the date feeling good about himself.
Women, because of their colonial relationship to men, have to fight for their own independence. This fight for our own independence will lead to the growth and development of the revolutionary movement in this country. Only the independent woman can be truly effective in the larger revolutionary struggle.
—Women’s Liberation Workshop, Students for a Democratic Society, Radical political/social activist organization. “Liberation of Women,” in New Left Notes (July 10, 1967)
No where in these conversations should the mere notion of a romantic relationship come into play. You can keep that for a little later on.
By simply having a good time with him and letting him see the fun he can have with you, he'll come to appreciate you and an emotional bond will begin to form. And since you're not putting any pressure on him to be romantic with you, he's going at his own pace and enjoying the process.
When you start to feel that emotional bond grow stronger, keep the atmosphere around you light and fun. Yes, you want to show him that you, too, are feeling increasing emotions, but be subtle and continue to take your time. If he's beginning to really fall for you and you suddenly up the ante and start talking of a future together, you might make him take a step back.
Every man is in a state of conflict, owing to his attempt to reconcile himself and his relationship with life to his conception of harmony. This conflict makes his soul a battlefield, where the forces that wish this reconciliation fight those that do not and reject the alternative solutions they offer. Works of art are attempts to fight out this conflict in the imaginative world.
—Rebecca West (1892–1983)
Falling in love takes time, so be willing to give it the time it needs.
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This article is contributed by Tina Jones from the Unforgettable Woman Publishing Team. She works together with founder Alexandra Fox and writes dating/relationship articles for women. You can find more about Unforgettable Woman Publishing by visiting their website.